“I’m
basically his dad.” Says Caleb Syke about his favorite memory with his cat, Mr. Binx.
When Syke first got his cat, he was really scared. “He was so confused at
first, he only followed me around,” Syke explains. Mr. Binx is a tabby cat, who
will be turning three on September 13th. When Binx is not following
Syke around, he’s normally eating. (Binx is 3 pounds overweight).
Syke and
Binx do other fun things like watch movies and practice the guitar together.
Sykes favorite thing to do with Binx is play laser pointer. Outside Binx,
plays around in the grass and chases around bugs. “One-time Binx came inside
with something in his mouth, turns out it was a cicada bug” Skye said, “I
couldn’t tell you how many cicada bugs he catches”
Binx also
happens to be very picking about who he’s hanging out with. Syke shares, “He’s
kind of a jerk to kids. He probably doesn’t like how hyper they are.” When Binx
becomes agitated he isn’t cute and friendly anymore, he begins to show self-defense
by biting fingers. “They back off really quick when he does that.”
At the end
of the day Binx and Syke, “Snuggle it up” and watch, The Marvel Series,
together. Binx always ends up licking Sykes ear. “I don’t know why he does it,
but I just let him.” Syke explains.
This is so cute! I love this so much! You did a great job Mack Jo... I can't believe how mush I can actually relate to all of this. Very well done!
ReplyDeleteHow so? Also, did you mean to say "mush"? I thought maybe it would work as a pun (much and mushy). LOL
DeleteI love this! You can really see Binx's personality shine through in your writing. :)
ReplyDeleteI personally found a few itsy bitsy errors that shouldn't be too hard to adjust.
In the first sentence there seems to be a little word-scramble, or maybe you're missing a word. You wrote "...about his favorite with his cat, Mr.Binx."
And a few spelling errors such as, "Binx an Syke." "Binx always ends up liking Sykes ear." and, "...plays around in the grass and chase around bugs."
I also noticed that there were a few cases where you referred to "Binx" as "Banks", which could just be that darn autocorrect.
Lastly, I noticed a few sentences that seemed to have unnecessary and/or misplaced commas, "...and watch, The Marvel Series, together." or, "Outside Binx, plays around in the grass..."
Overall, you did a really awesome job! I'm sure Binx would be proud. (if he could read)
What a fun read! I think part of why this worked well was your incorporation of direct quotations. You need to work on punctuating those quotations (rule 1,2,3 handout will help), but that is where the magic happened for me.
ReplyDeleteSomething I noticed was that in the end, it seemed like it was almost more about Mr. Binx than Syke. I thought it gave us a glimpse into who he is (he is patient, observant, plays guitar, likes Marvel), but it was always indirect or from a "side view." What would it take to get Syke front and center? Hm.
Wow, i really like this! I like how you were able to zone in and go more in depth on one subject rather than multiple.
ReplyDeleteI liked this, it was interesting to read all the quotes. I felt like I was able to see both the personality of Caleb and Mr. Binx. I was getting Caleb's through the way her spoke and Mr. Binx by how he was being described. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThis is good i feel as though i got to know a little more about caleb and it was very interesting to read.
ReplyDeletei can really see a lot of Caleb's personality and his cat's as well in this piece. Its very well written.
ReplyDeleteI really liked that quote you used to start, and felt that you did a great job with getting Caleb's personality through to your audience. I would suggest though that maybe you go into some different topics instead of just the one with his cat.
ReplyDelete